Bow Down to the Master

Wait a minute. I can't believe I haven't posted about this before now!

I previously mentioned, way back in 2011, that I'd decided to pursue a Master's Degree. I also mentioned that if all went well, I would have been done in two years or so. Yeaaah, best laid plans and all that. Life happened, in a big way. I've been so busy with family and work and other challenges, that I had to defer and delay a few modules along the way.

I've complained about how very knackered I was, especially during Red Bull Week.

I lamented that I was soclose to giving up on my thesis. Yes, I honestly very nearly did throw in the towel. It didn't help that I was suffering through a little fight with my black dog for a while.

But I screwed my courage to the sticking place, and I did not fail.

I started researching and writing my dissertation in September 2015.
I submitted it in January 2016.

Clearly, I am the Queen of Siberia.

Or perhaps not. For instead of six months, I did it in four. Go me!

On my birthday, I went home after a brilliant night out, to find that a simply marvellous birthday present had arrived in the mail.

Censored for obvious reasons

Thass right. I now has a piece of paper that tells me that I be smart.

Or at least that I know how to read and write.

One would think that being able to churn out 50k words would mean that I could possibly churn out the same number of words for a fiction novel.

It's now November. Clearly, I'm still not doing Nanowrimo. But hey, so far so good with Wriso.
Perhaps next year, I shall do Nano. (Which is what I've been saying every year for the past decade, at least. Procrastinators of the world unite...tomorrow!)

But yeah. Rambling aside, I did it. I wrote a dissertation. I passed said dissertation. I have a really expensive piece of paper to show for it.

Yeah, seems about right

Ok, as dismissive and self-deprecating as I seem, I'm actually really proud of myself. Faced with several challenges and constraints, I stuck to it, and I did it.

Thesis Schmesis

I am thisclose to submission deadline.
I am also thisclose to quitting.

Why why why why why did I decide to do this?

At this point, I don't even care if I pass*; I just want to have something to submit. But soon it will be over, and I shall rejoice. And then I'll sleep for a month.





*this is a dirty lie. Of course I want to pass.**

**I'll don't have to do brilliantly. I'll be happy if I scrape through.***

***Story of my life.

Friday, Finally.

I'm really relieved this week is drawing to an close, but I have to admit to a certain sadness at seeing it end.

First things first, I. Am. Knackered. It's been a while since I've felt this exhausted.

Last week, I was tutoring after work on several evenings. Then Friday evening was class, immediately after work. Saturday, up bright and early for class all day, then spent the evening running around Neal and Godson. Who are so sassy and adorable, but that's an anecdote for another day.*
Sunday, yet another full day of class, followed by an evening of...huh. What did I do Sunday evening? I can't recall, but it was busy-ish anyway.
Then this whole week was work all day, class in the evening. Whole week of getting home at 11, 1130pm, so by the time I got stuff sorted, got showered and got into bed, it was no earlier than 1am. And then to be up at 6.30 (oh alright, snooze til 7) for another workday...I'm not as young as I used to be, and my recovery time seems to be a lot longer! Plus, I haven't had a single Red Bull this time round.

Woke up this morning aching all over, that deep ache of pure exhaustion. Managed to drag myself out of bed, and then to work.

So yeah, I'm glad to know that tomorrow I can have a lie-in.

Thing is, I'm also feeling somewhat melancholy. That was my last class for my MA, which means another chapter in my life has ended. As tiring as it was, I did enjoy class discussions. I love discourse about ideas and concepts, especially with intelligent people who help me articulate my thoughts, challenge my preconceptions (and misconceptions), and make me really think.

And now...now comes the real challenge. Writing the papers. Like I've griped about before, writing a 20K word fic? No problem. Churning out a tenth of that wordcount for a paper? I'd rather go to the dentist!**

At least now I'm not so intimidated by the thought of my assignments and dissertation. Yes, I'm still scared; yes, I still think I'm not smart enough; yes, I don't know how I'm going to get the time and the space to do it.

But...I'll get 'er done. One way or another. I've already asked Tink if I can write my papers in her parent's place. If not, I'll have to find somewhere else. The Madhouse is out of the question; I don't have a desk, I can't use Bro's desk as he's studying too. Mum did say I could use the dining table, just let her know when and for how long. I just gave her a look and said "Six months?!"***
Yeah, definitely not getting any work done in the Madhouse.
Library's a bit tricky too; I'll have to lug my laptop, books and papers all the way there, and I'll just waste time, not just commuting, but in organising all my notes.

Must to really think about this.

In the meantime, I'm really looking forward to tomorrow. I'll finally watch Suits, I can do my laundry (just had NO time this whole week), and best of all...I CAN SLEEP.

*Didja like the alliteration, didja, didja?
**Actually, I'm not sure about this. Ugh, I hate the dentist.
***Ha. If I can get my dissertation done in 6 months, I'll be Queen of Siberia.

Yesterday evening, Kay asked me what "rambling" means. To which I gave a really long-winded explanation of both definitions, and finally wrapping up by asking her if she got it.

She got it.

Great Start to the Week

It wasn't the best start to the week. I went to bed kinda late last night (surprise surprise) and woke up late this morning (hey surprise again) and had to cab it to work (big surprise) and got to the office a few minutes late (bigger surprise).

And now the word 'surprise' has lost all meaning.

But the day picked up pretty well after that. I knew that I'd have a lot of work waiting for me. It's usually busy on Monday mornings, especially if I didn't work on the previous Saturday. Today was no different... busy busy busy! It was the good kind of busy though, where I just had a constant flow of work to do, and there was nothing super urgent to take care of. Unlike some other times, where I'm so harried and everyone needs something done five minutes ago and there's barely enough time to breathe let alone have a coffee and the phone is ringing non-stop and I'm running around like a headless chicken.

Uh, so yeah. Today was the good kind of busy.

Then mid-morning, I heard Coworker!S on the phone, giving directions to someone who was clearly coming to the office to visit. Shortly after she hung up, she went down to the lobby to greet said visitor. I thought nothing of it, until she walked back to the office with visitor, and then said to me, "Look who's here!"

I looked up, and there was one of our former team members, here on a brief stopover visit. Now there was a real surprise, and a lovely one at that! Didn't really get to talk much, as he was here to see Boss, then they and Lead guys went on the rig for most of the afternoon.

After work, I went over to Shoes' place for my usual revision session with the kids. That too went rather well. They were all rather tired, but they did sit down to do their work without complaint. And J was extremely proud of himself for getting full marks for his spelling. And I'm proud of him too. I see such potential in all three of them, and I really hope I can help them fulfill their potential.

On that note, I'm going to watch a couple episodes of my latest addiction (is anyone surprised that I'm hooked on yet another tv show?), then go to bed.

For some strange reason, I now have a craving for a chocolate egg containing a small toy.

I like rainbows, but I'd prefer the toy.

D is for Dictionary

The other day on the way to work, I heard a DJ on the radio talking about some album or other. She said, "This is the ultimate collection, it's the PEnultimate collection!"

Then today, my sis shoots me a text:
"Martha Stewart just said: we have the penultimate actress on our show today."



Yes, language is constantly evolving, but that's often because of people not bothering to really understand the meaning of a word before using it, to the point that the "new" meaning becomes the accepted meaning.

Do YOU know the meaning of "penultimate"? Why don't you look it up and get back to me? No wait, let me rephrase that in what seems to be the popular usage now:

Why don't you look it up and revert to me?



I'd like to teach the world to speak proper bloody English.

Red Bull Week; Final Day

It always amuses me to see someone else's desktop cluttered with icons. I simply don't understand how anyone can work with such a mess on their desktop. Makes me wonder if their physical desk is just as cluttered! How do they locate anything? Every one of my files are neatly labelled and slotted into their proper places. Just the way it should be. I like my desktops empty, save for the things I'm immediately working on. It's just so much better that way.

Speaking of the things that I'm working on, I can now transfer my presentations from my desktop to the proper folder. I'm done with presentations! If I may say so myself, I think I did a pretty good job. For the amount of effort I put into them...well, the output was a lot better than I'd expected!

Of course...that's just my opinion, which is quite biased.

I'm starting to get hungry....I think we're going for lunch in a bit. LUNCH!

---

After lunch now!

We all went to Han's, and now I'm stuffed. And oh so sleepy! Oh silly me, I didn't pick up a Red Bull on the way! No matter, I did have a coffee, I'm going to make myself a cup of tea now, and perhaps it's a good thing to not drink Red Bull - it would probably make my cough worse.

Urgh. Time to wake up and pay attention!

Red Bull Week; Day 2

Managed to make it to class on time, and felt knackered all day. Had a good time in class though, and it was lovely catching up with SheelyD and Sham and Koko. I think I might actually enjoy this module! It's a pretty interesting topic, and one that's quite relevant indeed to my interests. There's a lot of class prep involved with this module, which is always useful, of course. And our lecturer is really cool too; had some interesting discussions in class. He's so knowledgeable about this topic and I'm looking forward to more dialogues with him.

After class, I made my way to the National Library, where I started on my presentation for tomorrow. Well, technically, today now. Didn't spend as much time as I'd expected, because Bar Boozer's arrival time was a whole hour earlier than expected! Which just meant I got to see him a whole hour earlier than I'd expected!

Oh, it was simply lovely hanging out with Bar Boozer for the first time in five years! One would think that'd it be a bit awkward, what with not having seen each other for so long, and having the barest of communications in the meantime. After all, we just kept up with each other's lives mostly through Facebook statuses. But no, it was just so easy and comfortable and fun from the get go!

I find it rather amusing that we ended up getting tapas for dinner, seeing as how the first time I had tapas was with him, and when we met at Clarke Quay the last time, we also had tapas. What is that, our signature cuisine?

Really looking forward to hanging out with him again in July, when I get to crash at his place over my summer hols.

Decent tapas, good drinks, great conversation and chilling out with an old mate.  Now that's a perfect way to end an awesome weekend!

Oh, and where did the Red Bull come in? Right after lunch, of course! It's almost 2am now, and after only about 5 hours of sleep this whole weekend, I'm more than ready to crash. Say g'night, Ki. G'night!

So Much Has Happened!!!

I know,  I know, it's been AAAGES since I last properly updated. I've just been really busy! And lazy! And...it's been a while since I've been in the mood anyway.

My faithful readers have giving me subtle hints about how I should post. Of course, Shoes and Neko are about as subtle as freight trains, so I decided that it's about time I posted.

We welcomed a new addition to our family! My sister delivered a healthy baby boy in the beginning of the month. Just sliding into the Rabbit year, little NJ is the spitting image of his big bro Niel.

Sadly, we also bid farewell to a family member last month. My uncle (who was also my godfather) passed away a few years ago. Last month, his wife joined him. Brian and Ivy, now reunited, may you rest in peace.

I embarked on a new adventure in January; I'm pursuing a Masters Degree, and I'm terrified and excited all at once. If all goes to plan, I'll be done in two years, afterwhich even more adventures will be open to me.

Red has died, and even though I tried reviving her, she just keeps flatlining. I'll get a professional to perform an autopsy. I'll most likely get her internal organs removed; I'll keep the organs and get rid of the rest.

Uhm, you DO know that Red's my laptop, right? Well...was. She's dead now. She is an ex-laptop. She has ceased to be. Shoes said it's because I haven't blogged in so long that I angered the geek gods. Or...something.

BUT. I have a replacement. I've finally crossed over and caved, and am now welcoming my new MacBook Pro into my gadget family. I haven't christened her yet; MBP is still nameless. Decided not to bother with the new release though; it doesn't do anything for me. Besides, the minute I saw that the new MacBook Pro had been released, I knew there'd be some great deals at the store, and so I went there with my bro to have a look and there WERE indeed some great deals! I got my MBP for a pretty sweet price, so I'm quite happy with that.

So much more has been happening, but I'm really too tired to go into everything. Plus, I can't be arsed. Also, I'm quite knackered now. This has been a tiring week!

Just know that I'm having a blast, and THINGS are HAPPENING and new opportunities are EVERYWHERE and I'm loving my life! And now, I'm off to live my life.

Ki, out!

Making a Difference

I'm applying for for my MA, and any mention of teaching experience would help. As such, I asked my student's mum, aka Shoes, if she would write me a testimonial, and she did. And I just received it.

It is highly encouraging, to say the least. I'm always flattered to receive positive feedback, but Shoes' testimony went beyond that. It was touching and heartfelt, and so uplifting and positive, and filled me with a warm, fuzzy feeling.

If I were physically capable of blushing, I would have turned bright red when I read it. It's so uplifting to know that I've done something right, especially when I have had my doubts. Oh, I have had countless doubts. But to hear, or rather read, that I've made a positive difference, it means the world to me.

Of course, it's always possible that Shoes was just buttering me up, so that I'll owe her...I'll be on my toes, waiting for her to start calling in favours.

Seriously, Shoes, it made my day. And Fridays are generally great days, so to make a Friday? That's something, I tell ya!

Have Guts, Got Glory

It's almost 2am, and I'm finally ready(ish) for bed.

Got home at 11pm after class, then had a quick dinner and a brief chat with Doof.
Dinner was simple, but lovely - a ham and cheese sandwich, and an orange. Of course, dinner would have been more pleasant if I hadn't managed to squirt orange juice into my eye while peeling it. And I'm wearing glasses too!

Have finally prepared lesson plan and materials for meeting with classmate tomorrow, and practicum on Thursday.

Like I said, crunch time.

I'm beyond knackered now. It's also a challenge to remain upbeat and to keep a smile on my face when I'm so exhausted. But I can finally see the finish line, and I know I'll miss the race once it's over.

I'm almost completely done with my TESOL course! Well, there are the assignments to slog my way through, but at least I'll be able to sleep at a reasonable hour. I'm averaging 4 hours of sleep a night, and it's starting to take its toll. But I'm almost done!

I'm risin' up, straight to the top!

Crunch Time

I might have piled my plate a little too high. What can I say? The buffet offered so much that I just couldn't resist.

Project is coming to a close, and the amount of paperwork is staggering. I'm also starting work on the new project, and there's loads to do there as well.
It's a huge challenge, and the days that I'm not at class or tutoring, I'm staying late. The past few Saturdays, and the next few Saturdays, will be spent at work. Plus, I'm seriously considering going in on Sundays, at least for half a day.

Work is seriously becoming a challenge. Not so much that it's difficult, it's just that there's so MUCH of it!

I brought work home with me today, and am finally finished. I would have been done earlier (or I would have just stayed late at the office), but I had a tutoring session, and I refuse to miss those unless absolutely necessary.


Speaking of which, tutoring is going steady, and I'm seeing tiny improvements with the kid. Some days it seems like I'm just not doing a good job, and I find myself at a loss. But I live for the moments when everything just clicks for her, and she's eager and excited, and I am reminded of why I love teaching. It's yet another challenge, and a huge responsibility to boot. I've finally managed to sway public opinion that I'm irresponsible, and I'm maintaining my reputation for never backing down from a challenge.


Classes...wow. Classes are drawing to an end. A couple more weeks, and I'm done with them. It's the final stretch, and it's always that last mile that's the hardest. I still have my practicum to do, and to be honest, this is the first time that I'm actually worried about it.

For my PPS class, I have unbelievably high expectations for myself, and that makes me apprehensive. For my final TESOL module, my practicum partner is...well, this is the first time I've had an assigned partner, and while he's a great person, it might be challenging to work with him. He doesn't have any experience, which is fine, really. The tricky part is that we're not on the same wavelength, and I've noticed that we don't bounce ideas off each other the way my previous class partners and I used to.

But challenges were made to be overcome, and overcome challenges I shall.

I was thinking earlier that it feels like I'm approaching burnout, when I realised that this time last year...I was in a far, far worse situation, and I was holding my own. As I learnt from Conan the Barbarian, that which does not kill us makes us stronger. Perhaps it was Nietzsche. But 'Conan' is a lot easier to spell, so let's go with that. In any case, I've thrown myself the gauntlet, and I've willingly picked it up.


Ready or not, this is crunch time.

Treading Water

I've been so busy lately that it seems I barely have enough time to breathe.


At work, this project is coming to a close, and there is an unbelievable amount of work to be done. The next project is starting up, and I'm working on that too. I've been coming in to work earlier than usual, and putting in a tremendous amount of overtime.

Working 16-hour days are fast becoming the norm for me. What's frustrating is that just when I think I'm getting a handle on my workload, another huge pile comes in. It's all I can do to keep my head above water.

Most days, I don't have time for lunch - I take 20 minutes at most. I refuse to log on to Twitter, as that would just eat up loads of my time. I rarely log on to Facebook.

Thank goodness for people like Neko - when she's not online, I feel like something's missing. Also, she makes me smile and laugh, which goes a long way in chasing away the Monday doldrums.

Then there are classes for TESOL. I'm on my final module for the Advanced Diploma, and then I'll have to complete my assignments, which will take an awfully long time. I'm also doing the course to attain a Certificate in Teaching Phonetics, Phonics and Speech. I'm finding it really easy, and sometimes it gets boring. I've done all of it before, and even the first time I studied it in school, it was a cinch. I might have slacked off a lot as a student, but that was a class I aced with the barest of efforts.

Of course, this doesn't bode well for my attention span; Last night's class was extremely boring, and I'm afraid I might have let that show. I quite like and respect Trainer P, and I think it was awfully rude of me. He is fully aware that I know the material and he's smart enough to realise it'd bore me, so hopefully he didn't overly mind. Also, everyone's expecting me to score a distinction...and I'll be dissatisfied with anything less.

I desperately need to get moving on my assignments, as I am so far behind and the longer I take to finish them, the longer it'll take for me to get my certificates.

Once come September, I'll have more time - classes end then. Of course, then I'll still have my assignments to complete. And that will be done...just in time for me to do my Masters next year.

I'm really happy right now; despite my exhaustion, I do so love the adrenaline rush that comes with meeting challenges and deadlines head on. I love that the head honchos find me competent and capable. I love the satisfaction that comes with completing tasks well, and doing a good job.

I'm so excited about how each new day brings new challenges and opportunities. With each passing day, I receive even more blessings. I know that all my hard work will pay off; I'm already reaping small rewards.

But I'm also feeling rather overwhelmed right now. I am only one person, and there are only so many hours in a day. There are moments, like this one, when I don't know how to handle it all, and I feel like I'm on the verge of collapse.

Then again, this too shall pass. And like all other times when I feel myself losing it, I shall take a deep breath (and a sip of coffee), and all will be right in my world again.


And this is one of the (many) reasons I want and need to start running again:
Running is a statement to society. It is saying 'no' to always being on call, to sacrificing our daily runs for others' needs. When we run we are doing something for ourselves.

-- Phoebe Jones, runner

And goodness knows I need to do something for myself right now.

Marching on!

How time flies! My life is a veritable whirlwind of activity!

Well let's see. I think what I'm most excited about now is that I'm starting classes tomorrow! I've been toying with the idea of taking up TESOL classes for the longest time, but never could commit to it. It was almost a spur of the moment thing - I looked at the website last Wednesday, I gave them a call and set up an appointment for Thursday. Met up with them on Thursday, signed up, got a verbal confirmation, received written confirmation on Friday...and I start classes tomorrow!

It won't be easy, what with work, family and tutoring, and now classes 2-3 times a week. But I'm loving that life is so full and productive.


I went to see a play yesterday with the family, put up by We Colour People Theatre and Company. I really enjoyed it; it was funny, thought-provoking, and heart-wrenching. The acting was marvellous, the small space was well-utilised and the minimal props were used to good effect. And that local flavour was delicious!


I'm finally gaining control over my finances. 2010 is the year that I finally get out of debt! I've started saving; Not a whole lot just yet, but the ocean is made up of drops. Baby steps...I'll get there soon enough. And if one good thing has come out of the family sorrows of 2009, it's that I now truly understand how important health/life insurance is. I've met a great financial advisor who actually listens and cares about what I want/need, and is helping me along the path to financial independence. Plus she's great fun, and meetings with her always leave me feeling happy and energised.


I love where my life has taken me. I love the promise that the future holds. I am eager and excited to see where my path leads, and definitely enjoying the ride.

I've fallen in love with life, and I suspect life has fallen in love with me. ♥

Tutoring is taking over my life

Today was just a lovely day.

No work came in, simply because the people who would be sending in the documents are on leave for CNY, and I had plenty of time to catch up on some of my filing. There is a whole lot more to do though, and I only have less than two weeks to complete it all. Time for some overtime, I suppose.

Tutored Kay after work. She and her brothers are simply terrific. And I got lucky too, when it comes to getting students with decent parents. Too often, I've met parents who expect too much, push their children so much, and expect miracles from me. Let me tell you one things: if your child is failing a class in August, there's no way he/she is going to be scoring As by October, unless he/she is a genius and had previously put in zero effort. And uh...no, 'genius' isn't the word I'd use to describe your child.

Anyway, two tutoring assignments now, so that's going to keep me a little busy. But I'm loving every moment.


Happy moments of today:
- drawing a picture with Kay and co. after our lesson

- having Kay actually be interested in her lesson

- Kay's grandmum sitting down with me and telling me that she likes the way I teach Kay, and that Kay enjoys and looks forward to my lessons

- Watching American Idol. Parts of it, anyway. It's one of my guilty pleasures; I know it's mindless, it sometimes annoys me, but I love it anyway.


Today's Thanksgiving:
I am thankful that both my tutoring assignments are with great children, and decent parents.

And tutoring isn't really taking over my life. But it forms an important part of my life, and I'm glad I'm happy with my assignments.