Hyperbole Fail

Seriously, the best place to overhear funny snippets is in the washroom. People seem to forget that people in/outside cubicles can also hear you!

OH in washroom: "I have a dozen and one things to do today!"

So...you have thirteen things to do? BFD, babe. I have about 15, and that's before this afternoon's work comes in.

Seriously, if you're going to use phrases like that to emphasise how much work you have, why wouldn't you say that you have 'a thousand and one' things? Better yet, 'a million things'. Using words like 'dozen' doesn't make you sound smarter!

I have a dozen and one things to do. Pffft.

Knocked Up

Had quite a bizarre exchange with a girl from another department today. She comes to my office to hand me some documents, when the following ensues.


She: Hey, you're pregnant, right?
Me: ....No.
She: But...you're pregnant!
Me: No. I'm not.
She: Are you sure?
Me: *thinks: Am I sure?*
Me: I'm not pregnant. I'm fat.
She: Why? You eat a lot is it?


Me: ....ok, you're being rude and I don't want to talk to you.




Clearly, I need to go on a diet. Thing is, I'm not sure if she's just daft or rude (or both!), but that was such an odd conversation for so many reasons. Who goes around telling people they're pregnant? Why would you ask if they're sure? What if I really were up the duff and wanted to keep it on the down low? And why, for the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, would you keep shooting your mouth off after you've put your foot in it?

I think I'm surrounded by very strange people. But...if I perceive everyone else to be strange, doesn't that make ME the strange one? Well, if that's the case, I revel in my strangeness.

My fat and very unpregnant strangeness.

D is for Dictionary

The other day on the way to work, I heard a DJ on the radio talking about some album or other. She said, "This is the ultimate collection, it's the PEnultimate collection!"

Then today, my sis shoots me a text:
"Martha Stewart just said: we have the penultimate actress on our show today."



Yes, language is constantly evolving, but that's often because of people not bothering to really understand the meaning of a word before using it, to the point that the "new" meaning becomes the accepted meaning.

Do YOU know the meaning of "penultimate"? Why don't you look it up and get back to me? No wait, let me rephrase that in what seems to be the popular usage now:

Why don't you look it up and revert to me?



I'd like to teach the world to speak proper bloody English.

Let's Play Stupid Questions!

Doof and I declared Wednesday to be Stupid Question Day, after Doof asked me a stupid question. Well, we usually ask each other stupid questions anyway, but I was on a short fuse on Wednesday. Anyway. Turns out we were one day early.

It was yesterday that was definitely Stupid Question Day.


Overheard in the office (it was about to piss down out there):
Guy: Would you look at the colour of the sky?!
Ditz: Which one?
Guy: ...There's only one sky!



Getting a 'teh' from the 'kopitiam'; they put takeaway drinks in packets:
Me: One tea, please, packet.
Dimbo: Tea, in packet?
Me: Yep.
Dimbo: Takeaway?
Me: ....Yes.


I'm surrounded by idiots!


ETA:
Not about a stupid question, just about questions. In particular, the A Google A Day questions. I love them! I think they're great practice for improving one's Googlefu (even though I have something better than Google - I have a Neko and a Doof).
So first page I opened today showed me today's question, and I was thrilled to know the answer! No googling required! The trivia geek in me applauded, I'll tell you that!